Musical jokes, jokes about musicians musical instruments players and music:
Man eating an Audio CD: "I have strange tastes in music"
Note stuck to music shop door: "Gone Chopin - Bach in 3 minuets"
Inscription on a blues man's tombstone: "Didn't wake up this morning... Didn't feel to bad... Last night was probably the BEST I ever had!"
How do you get a rock guitar player to slow down? Put some sheet music in front of him!
How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You know its about to happen, but you can't do anything to prevent it.
What do you throw a drowning Disk Jockey? His amplifier
What did he musician say to the tightrope walker? You better C# or you'll B flat!
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None; they can't get up that high!
How do you prevent a trombone player from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
A String Quartet: Good violinist, bad violinist, ex violinist and someone who hates violins sitting around complaining about composers
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They have machines to do that now!
How do you put a twinkle in a soprano's eye? Shine a light in her ear!
Why do bagpipe players march when they play? To get away from the sound!
Why do bagpipe players march when they play? Its more difficult to shoot a moving target!
Why are music critics hearts sought after for transplants? They've had so little use!
What's the difference between a DJ and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching!
"There is nothing I like better than the sound of my tone deaf friends synthesisers - except perhaps the sound of a cat in a liquidiser!"
What's better than roses on top of the piano? Tulips around your organ!
What will you find on a drummers music theory exam paper? Drool!
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer!
Whats the difference between a live drummer and a drum machine? You only punch the instructions into the machine once!
Why do rock bands need roadies? To act as interpreters for the drummer
How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb? one two! one two!
How many traditional folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Six... One to change the bulb, and five to complain that it is ELECTRIC and bitch about how much mellower a candle would be!
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army officers head? 'A' flat major!
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? 'A' flat minor!
What's brown and sits on a piano stool? Beethoven's Last Movement.
"Mmmmm, baby, I can play you like a fiddle" he said... "Can you play me like a harmonica?" She replied
If you play country music backwards? You get your house back, your car back and your wife back!
Play the blues backwards? The wife returns, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of jail.
Play acid house backwards? more acid house!
Play jungle backwards? more jungle!
As I walked past the grave stones I heard an eerie sound, someone was playing some classical music backwards! "What's that sound?" I asked a passing Goth. "Oh that's Ludwig Van Beethoven's grave - it sounds like he's de-composing!"
What happens when you combine diminished and augmented cords? You get demented cords!
What is the difference between a bagpipe player and a terrorist? Terrorists have sympathizers!
"Nigel's guitar playing really isn't as bad as it sounds!"
If a rock guitarist is drooling from both sides of his mouth: The stage must be level!
Whats the difference between a music producer and the IRA? You can negotiate with the IRA!
Whats the difference between music producer and God? God doesn't think he's a music producer!
Did you hear about the soprano who bedded four different saxophone players from the same band in a single night? She was a sax maniac!
What do you call a robot that composes musicals? Android Lloyd Webber!
What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Overqualified!
Sorry if these tired old jokes fail to strike a chord..
If anyone out there knows any better
music jokes than these then e-mail me at
I'll put the best ones up here.
I could use a good laugh!
More soon..........perhaps
