I Nigel Jones would like to categorically deny any rumors that I have become a lord or a baron. I have never worn any kind of ermine or vermin and am unlikely to do so in the future. Furthermore any allegations about me concerning repression of any kind of samurai sword wielding nutter, three political speeches in the same year, or membership of the house of commons beer club are completely false. If you meet me, or any of my team of Bristol Programmers on the street or the cycle path, no need to bow & scrape, or pull your forelock. I don't answer to "yer lordship" or "yer baronship". But I do answer to Nigel, Mr Jones, or even "oi you" sometimes. Reputedly these titles are significantly devalued these days because a large donation to the currently empowered political party is no longer required. A loan to Tony's Tory Party (£5 to the TTF) is sufficient apparently. So you not only get your title (lord/baron etc.), but the bribe gets refunded too! My my how standards have dropped since the days of Lloyd George... But I suppose in Lloyd Georges day a peerage was worth having. Nowadays the honorable peers must do what the commons say - or else they get reformed
If I was to become a lord, baron, or sir this could cause considerable confusion. Imagine the Queen saying arise Sir Nigel. Heck I have been running Machinehead Software (not a democracy) for so long that I can't remember exactly what a rise is.
|If you have email for Lord Jones, or Baron Jones, please will you send these to him and not me.|
Nigel Jones is a registered voter in the best democracy that money can buy! Please don't confuse him with anyone else called Nigel Jones, or Jones Nigel. Nigel can't vote in either the house of commons or the house of lords. But he can vote for his choice of candidates from the current three flavors of tory party.
I am very willing to offer a web based spin consultancy to any political party or government department with sufficient funds to pay for these services. I am pragmatic to the point of cynicism. Although I would much prefer honest employment. I don't care if the funds are raised from the sale of peerages on eBay, or as has been proposed, from the public purse. Providing of course that the funding is provided in an open and transparent manner. I think that knowledge of who funds which parties could actually be more informative than the manifestos. I wonder how many of the current governments sponsors were oil companies or arms dealers. I also can't help wondering how the principle of public funding for political parties reconciles with the principle of making wannabee MP's pay a deposit... Will this mean that absolutely anyone (Vote Monster Raving Loony!) wishing to launch an election campaign can obtain a grant for the election campaign?
Other government positions not occupied by Nigel Jones include: Employment Minister, Transport Minister, PM and MP.
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