It isn't known if this Stealth Cone is on its side because it is dead or simply resting after a long protracted bout of conical terrorism. Perhaps it was killed by passing vigilante cyclists, perhaps it just died of coneliness. Perhaps it is simply attempting to remain inconspicuous by pretending to be dead. Maybe it was killed by the other cones because its invisibility device has malfunctioned and they wish to ensure that it doesn't reveal the cones world domination plans if it gets captured and tortured. (However I have heard anecdotal evidence from some concerned citizens with experience of torturing captured Traffic Cones that they are "tough little plothermuckers who NEVER talk").
Anyhow Nigel 'Scoop Photographer' Jones got off his bike and took the opportunity to photograph of the Traffic Cones undercarriage in the expectation of finding some alien technology, rocket thrusters, or at least some miniature weapons of mass destruction. He found that beneath that dark cone shaped exterior lurks a sinister dark cone shaped orifice.
The inside of the cone is completely empty! [gasp]. Apparently the traffic cones aren't crammed with electronics and high tech, no sign of WMD's or rocket propulsion either! In fact nothing at all inside the cone, not even any give away traces of rocket fuel.
There are a number of theories to explain the conical void within the interior of traffic cones:
The astute observers amongst you will notice that there is an additional smaller hole at the point of the cone. This feature is also commonly found in common or garden Traffic Cones (Communus Trafficconeicus). There are a number of possible explanations for this:
|Cone The Communicator is a Traffic Cone with fully extended antenna transmitting radio signals to other road traffic cones, back to base, to the mother ship or perhaps even to the planet Ring Road. The exact nature of these conical communications remains unclear. There are some unsubstantiated reports of radio amateurs intercepting the signals but the cones are using strong encryption. Nobody has yet managed to decrypt the messages or crack the encryption codes and there doesn't appear to be a back door key to facilitate government snooping.|
Stealth Cones Invade Cycle Path
Electrocute A Cone
The Evil Alien Traffic Cones from the planet Ring Road
Traffic Cones Invade The Earth!
Traffic Cones World Domination Plans
Martian landings on the Bristol to Bath Cycle Path
Alien landings on Siston Common
The Bristol & Bath Cycle Path
The Killer Frog Of Fishponds
Aliens ride bicycles too
Weapons Grade Horse Shit
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