Traffic cones: Are they just cheap plastic crap, strewn around the roads and highways of England by the Council? Or are they a sinister race of extraterrestrial aliens on a mission, to bring the planet Earth to a standstill?
The True Alien Nature Of Road Cones
To the left is a rare picture that shows the true origin and nature of road cones. Far from being cute conical characters, they are actually an evil race of deadly invaders from outer space who are developing weapons of mass destruction and stealth technology and are hell bent on world domination.
|Like any army of occupation the extraterrestrial invasion force knows that the first step is to destroy the enemies communications. The essence of good camouflage is to keep very still. Alien Cones are very good at this. Mostly they favour the defensive military formation known as "the thin red line", sometimes they employ more aggressive tactics.|
Very little is known for sure about the sexual habits of road cones. The picture on the right is believed to be a pair of Cones mating. We can deduce from this evidence that male cones have the characteristic white reflective band around the middle. Females do not. Also Cone soldiers are mainly male, much like soldiers on Earth.
The dark markings around the base of the female are assumed to indicate that she is on heat. Sometimes lots of traffic cones gather for a sex orgy.
But are the evil invaders pictured above really dead?
It could be that they are just resting, or simply pining for outer space. They could be simply tired and shagged out after a long bonk. Cone mating rituals have been observed to last for weeks!Perhaps they are just dormant. If so watch out because one false move, or possibly one predetermined signal from the flying saucer and voom!
Suddenly the cute and inanimate cones pictured above become activated. The deadly metamorphosis begins and the evil invader changes into........
Cone The Destroyer
Conical Quotes Of Our Time"You are never alone with a Cone" - Ian Jarrett
"The only good Cone is a dead Cone" - Antonio Amato
"I know... Its road block and roll.. But I like it" - The Rolling Cones
"A Cone is for life, not just for Christmas" - RSPCA (Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Aliens)
"The only good Cone is an ice cream cone" - Nigel Jones
Traffic Cone Weapons of Mass Destruction
Traffic Cone WMD Distribution System
Traffic Cone World Domination
Traffic Cone Invasion | Rules of Traffic Cone Invasion
Traffic Cone Anatomy
Traffic Cone Tardis
Traffic Cones Attack Policeman
Traffic Cones Building Super Gun
Martian landings on the Bristol to Bath Cycle Path
Alien landings on Siston Common
Aliens ride bicycles too
George Michael Cone'd again
Links To Other Traffic Cone Sites
Traffic Cone Torture
Rocket Propelled Cones
"Traffic Cone Expert"
Traffic Cone Abacus
Traffic Cone OXO
Weapons Emporium (Weapons to exterminate Cones with)
The Bristol & Bath Cycle Path
Cone The Destroyer T Shirts
Weather Prediction Cones
Alien cone counter for those who trust such things