Traffic Cone Torture

This evil alien traffic cone has apparently been captured by a marauding peloton of riders from the Cyclists Resistance Movement (CRM). As you can see (the camera never lies!) it has been cruelly impaled on a fence post. To add to its humiliation, sadistic sensory depravation techniques are being employed - its point has been covered with a plastic bag. Electrical wires have been connected to the Traffic Cones base. The other end of the wires (not shown to protect the identity of the CRM rider who is "just following orders") has been connected up to a high power bicycle dynamo.

POWER SUPPLY Electrocute The Traffic Cone Using the magic of internet software we have installed a remote power switch in your web browser. Now everyone can join in the fun! Flip the power switch to electrocute the cone! Make the traffic cone reveal its world domination ambitions and strike a blow for freedom and democracy!

The Geneva convention states that prisoners should be humanely treated and not subjected to torture, or exhibited for propaganda purposes. However the cones are believed to have constructed a WMD factory in Lancashire and stockpiles of WMD might have been hidden on the Bristol to Bath cycle path, where they are also believed to be building a supergun. Intelligence suggests that the Traffic Cones are an evil race of aliens from the planet ring road on a quest for world domination. They are believed to have WMD, anti radar stealth technology, flying saucers and even a Tardis. They must be stopped before the full scale invasion starts and they bring the planet to a standstill. Its important to get the cone to talk but so far (after endless hours of electrical torture) the cone remains silent. Could this mean there aren't any WMD on the cycle track? Nah! Cones are tough little plothermuckers. But ve have vays of making zem talk..... eventually. And if the cone doesn't talk? Then for a finale traffic cones will go "woof" if you pour some petrol over them and start playing with matches!